Meet in Silent Truth

Dear Ones,

Happy April to you. Although I’m not well versed in astrology, this month certainly carries for me the energy of its sign - fire. Fire is the 3rd element, the element of individuation, determination, vision, mission and transformation. It is connected to our social drive - our innate desire to belong, fit it, have a particular role in our social order.

In this newsletter you will find:

an exploration of Fire and how it can support you in discovering your essential desire
April’s offerings: Monday yoga, Wednesday Space of Grace sharing circle aaaand MindRest is back in a special Easter edition on April 17
Our next Portugal retreat is now open for bookings and already nearly full (Oct 16 - 23). Join us for a journey of healing and return to wholeness. Enjoy the Early Bird discount (10%) before Jul 1.

Fire Walk With Me

If you love David Lynch’s 90s Twin Peaks series as much as I do, you will recognise this iconic and mysterious poem: “Fire walk with me”. In the series, Bob, who personifies humanity’s dark side, repeats this chant as an announcement of a journey into darkness. Yet for me, the fire element is much about embracing the darkness to discover the light within.

Picture by moi of the sunset at Bodhi Bhavan 1 week ago.

Fire is essential for life to grow, move forward and shift into a different stage of evolution. It is what naturally allows a seed to transform into a sapling. It is what propels a larva to transform into a beautiful butterfly. It is what allows us to transform obstacles into opportunities to mature, expand and evolve.

When the element of fire is in excess in us, it turns into a hunger for power. We go to war inwardly and outwardly (a bit like Bob in the series and the characters he possesses). Sadly, this imbalance is quite visible in the world we live in today and of course, it starts with our own minds, our own righteousness, our own need to control the circumstances and be in charge.

When the element of fire is too low in us, we don’t have clear vision and we lack determination. We become preoccupied with fitting in with the group, with staying safe and, in that way, we betray what we really want, what our souls are here to express, what our lives stand for.
An essential element of this “confusion” is the fact we don’t know what we really want. Our desires are conflicting and erratic. This newsletter is an attempt to support you in discovering your deepest desire - the one you came for.

The essential desire: What does your life stand for?

Those of you who have been working with me in 1:1 sessions or retreats know that I always start the end. I help you answer the hardest question: “What do you want your life to be an expression of? What would you live for? What do you really want?”

This is not my wisdom - not at all. I learned it from my beautiful teachers - Gangaji, Eli Jaxon-Bear, Papaji, Ganga Mira. They all meet new people with this simple but powerful question. Yet I first read it years ago in my favourite scripture the Upanishads - one of the oldest sanskrit texts, which speaks about the nature of reality, the ever changing and the unchanging.

This verse really struck me back then and stayed with me over the years. It is one of the few that I know by heart and often quote. As time went by, it revealed its ever deeper meaning:

“You are what your deep desire is,
As you desire is, so is your will,
As your will is, so is your deed,
As your deed is, so is your destiny.”

At first, I read it quite superficially - “know your demand and your will, actions and destiny will follow”. You may think “That’s obvious” and it is, yet you would be surprised by the depth of this exploration.

When I ask people what they really want for the first time, they often reply with what they don’t want. “I don’t want to feel stressed”, “I don’t want to have the life that I do”, “I want to be out of this situation.” In other words, they express their resistance to what their life currently is. Articulating what they DO want is a bigger challenge than meets the eye.

Then, they typically answer in relative terms: “I want more of what I like and less of what I don’t like”, “I want to have what I don’t have and get rid of what I already have and it annoys me”. These answers, though useful, are all based in the past - they are conditioned and require a comparison, a reference point, a judgement. But this verse is pointing to your deepest desire, your most burning one. What wouldn’t you live without?

Finally, people often answer with conflicting desires: “I want comfort and I also want expansion”, “I want peace and I also like intensity”. “I want love and I also want safety.” But if our vision is blurred and our desires conflicting, there isn’t enough fire or willingness to pursue them and overcome the seeming obstacles on the way.

How to discover your own inner fire?

It’s so important. If you had only one wish for this life, what would it be? What wouldn’t you live without? What would you die for? If you took this to heart and explored it, you would be surprised by the simplicity and absolute character of the answers. You can do it as a meditation or journal on a piece of paper, asking the question repeatedly.

You will recognise the true answer as it touches you in some mysterious way. It is non-negotiable, not up for comparison with another, nor can you compromise on it. Your whole being yearns for it. You’ve yearned for it all your life for no obvious reason. This deep desire is your secret fuel. There is an indisputable power to it and you may even experience its warmth in your body.

From here, you can begin to explore how you betray what you really want in the name of safety, belonging or neediness. You can become curious about all the ways, in which you continuously (and mostly unconsciously) choose something else instead. You can start uncovering the wounds that motivate these choices and tend to them with love. It’s a beautiful return to wholeness and integrity and if you are not sure how, I would love to support you in this exploration (learn more about the 1:1 MiST sessions and retreats below).

This is already beautiful and may change your life dramatically, but there is more.

This longing is sacred

In a blessed and mature lifetime, there comes a moment of divine disillusionment. We come to see that whatever strategies we’ve deployed to fulfil this deepest longing have all failed to deliver lasting fulfilment. Whether we threw relationships at it, new possessions, achievements in society or even service, nothing from the outside world could fulfil the yearning inside. In this way, we are helpless and hopeless.

You may think “Well, that’s horrible” and in some way, it is. In various traditions, they refer to this moment of disillusionment as the dark night of the soul. “Fire walk with me” as David Lynch would say. It’s a time of deep despair as we are left with the fire of our insatiable longing and no hope to fulfil it in this world of form.

It is also our greatest blessing. When all options fail, there is a possibility to surrender and let the fire of the longing burn us all the way.

Then we may discover that this longing is sacred. It is our Heart calling us home to itself. And this verse from the Upanishads I quoted earlier has a much more obvious and yet deeper meaning that I completely missed when I first read it: “You ARE what your deep desire is”. Yes, you ARE that. When you stop seeking for fulfilment “out there”, what you were looking for is revealed as your own nature. Then, a life of true fulfilment begins - a fulfilment that has nothing to do with your circumstances. A fulfilment that is your true name. May you be called by your true name.

April’s offerings

Join the Monthly pack and access all online gatherings for £25 @ paypal.me/theseedyoga
Easter MindRest: 1h30 of yoga, yoga nidra and self-inquiry, Sunday April 17 6pm UK
Monday Soulful Flow (weekly session) - we continue to practice soulful vinyasa on zoom, every Monday at 6pm UK. Contribution: £7
Space of Grace online circle, every 2nd Wednesday at 8pm - sit in silence, share how you are doing and inquire in community.

Learn more and book here

WHOLE: Autumn yoga & self-discovery retreat in Portugal, Oct 16 - 23

Only 2 rooms left. Early Bird by July 1

Have you been longing for nourishment, deep healing and rest? Are you willing and ready to meet what has been avoided, heal what has been wounded and return to your natural wholeness?

Our next retreat at Bodhi Bhavan in the magical Monchique mountain, Portugal, is now open for booking with a 10% Early Bird discount before July 1. We are nearly full before I even announced it as many people are returning from last year and bringing their friends. If you are planning to come, I’d say book quickly. At this point, there are only 2 rooms left.

Join an intimate and stunning group for a loving and carefully designed week of soulful yoga beyond asana, self-inquiry, cacao rituals, voice work & sound for those who are ready to shine light upon, heal and reclaim all parts of their being to return to their natural wholeness.

Learn more & step into the magic

1:1 MiST Sessions - Meet in Silent Truth

These sessions are a mix of self-inquiry and trauma-informed therapeutic skills, but most importantly, they are rooted in silent loving Presence. This simply (but powerfully) means meeting you with a quiet mind and an open heart - being a mirror without agenda, without opinion, without judgement. I have found time and time again that this truthful open meeting has a deeply healing effect and leaves space for you to see your own beautiful reflection. It is the greatest gift I ever received and I am so honoured to extend the invitation to you.

learn more and book a free intro