No Compromise
Meet in Silent Truth
Dear Ones,
In this letter you will find:
No Compromise: my first inspiration to write in a long time. It came out quite spicy after a summer of fire - literally and metaphorically.
Our usual Sunday MindRest sessions of yoga, self-inquiry and yoga nidra on zoom are back in September for a 4th year. Like a soft cotton cloud after the summer lull, these sessions will help you land in your body, challenge your beliefs, quieten your mind and nourish your heart. Make space in yourself for your Self.
October WHOLE retreat is full to the brim - I can’t wait. Next year, WHOLE will take place in April. If you are ready for it, message me and I’ll keep you in the loop. Watch the newsletter for early bird tickets coming out soon.
No Compromise
This is my first attempt at coming out of a long and unusual silence. This summer has been incredibly revealing, confronting and emptying for me. Many pains of the past reappeared in new clothes, made their splashing display and vanished who knows where.
Along with them, my love for words and self-expression seems to have faded too. So forgive me if this newsletter is not as poetic as they used to be.
In fact, nothing is as it used to be. In this insane, almost surreal display of pains, challenging outer circumstances and tendencies, I see that something has changed in me. I’m quiet.
I don’t know how, I don’t know when, nor do I know why that happened. I can’t take credit for the change, so all that I’m left with is immense gratitude for whatever brought this causeless shift.
Though I know my words and insights are completely useless, since they are my experience, which doesn’t and shouldn’t apply to you, they want to be shared. So here they are…
Picture by moi of the ashes over the ocean - wild fires burnt most of the land north of Aljezur down.
There comes a point in the journey of each soul where the question “What do I really want to live in this life?” is no longer a remote and curious investigation, but a burning need to know that demands an urgent and uncompromising answer. How this fire starts is unknown to me…it could be the pain of repeating tendencies, the grief of unfulfilled hopes, the heartbreak of immense loss. Who knows. Though I had asked myself this question a myriad of times, it is only now that I see that I never really went for a single answer. I never really committed. I never really burnt.
The answer that soul demands is no longer a verbose abstraction. The soul cannot waste time with words anymore, nor can it stop at vague and fluffy spiritual concepts. One word is enough. In fact, the soul cannot stop at the word itself anymore…It has to go straight to what the word is pointing to. It has to be alive. It has to be of the language of the heart. The archer has to be precise. The arrow has to pierce through. No second chances here.
When this essential desire is revealed, there cannot be compromise anymore, nor postponement. One has to run. It cannot be “I want this, but I also want that”. No. The fire of this essential desire burns all other desires away. At first tentatively and with resistance, because our minds don’t like single-pointedness - we like having options.
One obvious way in which this resistance shows up is our capacity to deceive ourselves and keep a few precious beliefs tucked away in the drawers of our minds. We like to keep a few exit doors if it gets too dangerous. We like to hold on to a few precious desires in case we can fulfil them on the way. In other words, we negotiate. But this essential desire of the soul takes no compromise, nor negotiation. There is no space for it here.
Eventually, even resistance won’t do. A southern wind blows and the fire of your soul’s desire starts gushing uncontrollably. It starts having a life of its own. To the mind, it feels like hell on Earth. And it is. The heat makes you wonder in a desperate cry why God has forsaken you, will it ever end, maybe there is still time to go back to your ordinary life?
But no. It’s too late. You were never made for an ordinary life. In fact, there is no such thing anyway.
Before you know it, all your old concepts are exposed… to be seen and to be burnt.
Old stories from the past, dressed in new clothes, come back with even greater might…to be seen and to be burnt.
Old tendencies of the mind that helped you make sense of an incomprehensible world are challenged…to be seen and to be burnt.
Old grudges against those who did you wrong, tightly held to keep you safe from the pain of your broken heart fill you with adrenaline…to be seen and to be burnt.
Old sorrows that kept you secretly connected to a lost lover tear your heart apart...to be seen and to be burnt.
Secret worldly wishes that you seemingly abandoned once, only to avoid the helplessness of not getting them fulfilled, reappear…to be seen and to be burnt.
Old connections that confirmed the very beliefs that kept you safe are torn…to be seen and to be burnt.
Old talents and attributes that made you fit in, belong to or rule over others, are exposed…to be seen and to be burnt…
The southern wind begins to settle and the flames calm down. All has been forsaken…
Suddenly it strikes you that what has been forsaken, wasn’t yours to begin with…
In fact, there’s nothing left - not even ashes. For what burnt wasn’t real to begin with - empty concepts, experiences and beliefs. Nothing ever separated you from what you wanted. Nothing ever had to be forsaken.
MindRest: Harvest
Every Sunday at 5pm UK starting Sep 10.
We are back. Our usual Sunday MindRest sessions of yoga, self-inquiry and yoga nidra on zoom are back in September for a 4th year. Like a soft cotton cloud after the summer lull, these sessions will help you land in your body, challenge your beliefs, quieten your mind and nourish your heart. Make space in yourself for your Self.
1h30 of yoga, meditation, self-reflection & yoga nidra every Sunday at 5pm UK
Drop-in: £12, Monthly Pack (4 sessions and their recordings): £40
1:1 MiST Sessions - Meet in Silent Truth
Regular slots are open in September. Welcome!
These sessions are a mix of self-inquiry and trauma-informed therapeutic support, but most importantly, they are rooted in silent loving Presence. This simply (but powerfully) means meeting you with a quiet mind and an open heart - being a mirror without agenda, without opinion, without judgement. I have found time and time again that this open meeting has a deeply healing effect and leaves space for you to see your own beautiful reflection. It is the greatest gift I ever received and I am so honoured to extend the invitation to you.
Upcoming Events
With Love and Gratitude,
Iri