Seeds of Insight 019 - Good Addiction, Bad Addiction

September 1, 2019 Irena Sekulska

Dear You,

It seems that all of us have different addictions that carry us through our days. Some are addicted to food, others to shopping, talking, drugs, alcohol, knowledge, thinking, achievements, social recognition, partners, compliments, experiences, good deeds, spiritual moments…And on and on.

We quickly judge some of these addictions as “bad”, others as “good”, based on some conditioned idea of what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. Underneath that judgement however there is no intrinsic value in any of them.

It takes little to see that they all have something in common: they are an innocent attempt to get fulfilment, joy, non-suffering outside of ourselves. Ironically, they also have another thing in common: it never works. They take us out of the present moment , direct our attention outwards and leave us hanging there after a brief relief. Of course, none of them brings lasting joy and we know it. Ultimately, they all boil down to a very subtle and elusive addiction to suffering.

One wonders then…why do we have this love affair with suffering? Perhaps it has served a purpose? I can only speak from my personal experience, but certainly in my case, the ‘love affair’ takes me to a place I know well. I don’t like it, but it’s safe - I have been there before. It gives me a perceived and illusory sense of identity. It makes me ‘unique’, ‘important’ (in a bad way, but doesn’t matter - still important), ‘looked after’…Yes, that’s right - it isn’t pretty and it’s a lie.

Seeing this every day and becoming aware of its obvious failure is a walk on a thin rope, a hard one, but so worth it. It’s a walk towards disillusionment and integrity.

This poem by Khalil Gibran depicts our love affair with suffering and the temporary rewards we get through it so beautifully.

When My Sorrow Was Born When my Sorrow was born I nursed it with care, and watched over it with loving tenderness. And my Sorrow grew like all living things, strong and beautiful and full of wondrous delights. And we loved one another, my Sorrow and I, and we loved the world about us; for Sorrow had a kindly heart and mine was kindly with Sorrow. And when we conversed, my Sorrow and I, our days were winged and our nights were girdled with dreams; for Sorrow had an eloquent tongue, and mine was eloquent with Sorrow. And when we sang together, my Sorrow and I, our neighbors sat at their windows and listened; for our songs were deep as the sea and our melodies were full of strange memories. And when we walked together, my Sorrow and I, people gazed at us with gentle eyes and whispered in words of exceeding sweetness. And there were those who looked with envy upon us, for Sorrow was a noble thing and I was proud with Sorrow. But my Sorrow died, like all living things, and alone I am left to muse and ponder. And now when I speak my words fall heavily upon my ears. And when I sing my songs my neighbours come not to listen. And when I walk the streets no one looks at me. Only in my sleep I hear voices saying in pity, “See, there lies the man whose Sorrow is dead.

Kahlil Gibran

With Love,

Iri

Upcoming

Courses

MEANING:FULL: September 2, @Studio Soma, Stoke Newington. Find your inner purpose & build a life in service of it. My dear soul sister Nadia and I will combine yoga, meditation, deep relaxation, journalling and self-inquiry in 4 weeks dedicated to you! Come and give yourself a present, ask yourself uncomfortable questions, make the changes to your life that you SO deserve.

Yoga classes this week

Soulful Thursdays @ Studio Soma, Stoke Newington. 7pm, Thursday

Rooftop Flow @ our home, Stoke Newington, 11am Saturday

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